Okay, here’s what to do:
- Brew yourself the strongest batch of black tea you possibly can.
- Cool it down to a temperature your skin finds comfortable.
- Immerse a cotton ball or take one of the tea bags and place it directly on the ‘rhoid.
- Get comfy on your stomach and read a book or watch a movie to pass the time – keep it peaceful- nothing scary like The Hole.
No matter what the size the evil gremlins may be, the natural tannins of the tea will send these little minions back into the dark abyss from whence they came… and put an end to their evil, itch-filled assault on your anus.